29.9.10

Q12: Questions In My Relationship With God

Question: What are the biggest questions you have regarding your relationship with God? Have they been answered? If yes, how have those answers helped you? If not, how do you feel about them not being answered and how has that impacted your life and your view of God?


Usually the best deal you can get is a two-for-one.  Clearly the author of this question wanted to go one better, asking instead for a three-for-one!  I will try to oblige, but this is no easy question :) 


To begin, I would like to link you this excellent interview with Stanley Hauerwas, which I was led to through this post by a friend. In it, Hauerwas (who is an evangelical Christian) says something shocking: “The last thing in the world I'd want is a personal relationship with God.” Before you throw Hauerwas off the bus, or me for that matter, know that his remark makes sense in context. He is rejecting the idea that our relationship with God can be a private thing.  Instead, it must be mediated through the body of Christ, a people formed by the word and sacrament of Christ.  He goes on to add that he would never trust himself with a personal relationship with God.  Anyway, I thought this was interesting; on to the question itself. 


One of my biggest questions regarding my relationship with God is why He doesn't fix everything faster.  I set it up in a logic chain like this: God loves me and wants what is best for me, God is capable of making me the best I can be, and I want God to make me the best I can be (nod to free-will there).  If all of this is true then why isn't it happening? Given the logic chain, I must be stopping Him somehow... except that no part of me is capable of stopping God.  Round and round I go.  


Has this question been answered? Kind of.  In the end I reject logic chains such as this one.  There is always a flaw; life is more complicated than an "A + B = C" logic chain can encompass. (As an aside, I have this same problem with aspects of Calvinism and how the problem of evil is often stated) So, my answer is to trust God and walk with Him. To seek with perseverance, to continue to hope and pray, and know that God does love me and desire my best, but that I also need to love Him and desire His best.  


This answer has definitely impacted my actions and views when it comes to God and Spirituality.  When I mess up I find it much easier to move on; not because my sin is less serious, but because I know God's heart. When I am not who I want to be, I get less discouraged than I used to.  The path is still before me, the light still around me, and I can keep walking forward.  Even more than this, I appreciate the story and the journey more.  When life is a logic problem you need a solution; most of the time solutions are hard to come by.  When life is a road you need a destination and a travelling companion; Jesus gives  me both.  



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