Animal Stories

My wife frequently gets headaches. Bad ones. A long time ago, when this blog was new, I posted a narrative about my wife on MAO's (read the post if you want to know. And she wasn't my wife back then either). Anyway, now that we are married, I make random attempts to help her avoid drug use to get through the headaches. Among other things, I make up stories to tell her.

First off, we make this together, in some way or another. Secondly, we both have odd senses of humor. For example: Kristina, who will, among other things, be a nearly perfect mother, likes dead baby jokes. So this is the first of, so far, four animal stories that I will be posting on here that have arisen from these attempts to avoid habitual... medicinal... drug use.

Alfie the Elephant Who Eats Little Children

Alfie was an elephant, in most ways like any other Elephant. The major difference was that he was purple, and that he ate little children. He lived in a zoo, housed carefully, just like any other elephant: Behind minimal fences and concrete structures that allowed people to closely view him.

One day, a child was standing too close to the elephant pen, and Alfie ate him. Naturally, the parents sued the zoo. The zoo’s lawyers quickly pointed out that the area was well signed with clear messages that children should NOT stand too close, or look at Alfie at all, if possible. The parents did their best to win the case, but they could not.

In the end they went back to the zoo to yell at Alfie, and they were eaten too. Alfie had developed a taste for all kinds of people.


Anonymous said...

You know you've spent too much time overseas when... ~ John

PakG1 said...

Um, this is a side of Kristina I never saw before....

Jon said...

Question: If there was elephant Iron Chef, how would the theme ingredient 'Babies" be prepared?