Against Nothingness

I had a little arguement with Chapter last night about swearing. She hates it; and for good reason. I on the other hand, while i do my best to keep a "clean mouth", am not above swearing for shock value or to remove myself from the easy categories that people slide me into (its easy to do, you find out I am a Christian, and for a lot of people, the categorizing is already done). Of course the whole thing is based on a dichotomy that only becomes valuable for my purposes when i acknowledge it and then don't treat it with integrity... oh oh i think i am arguing myself into a corner here... Then there are the questions of wether or not breaking out of an old category to be put into one that i got to by swearing is what i am after.... grrrr, so i still want to shock people, and i still want to not be put into the easy categories people have, but it looks like i am going to have to put more thought into how it is down. On that note, I do have an idea for a T-Shirt that...

Here's a question: how do you Blog "authentically"? I mean, this isn't a private journal, someone is probably reading it (though not many). On the other hand this is still me. How to write in front of an audience, half for an audience, and yet not pose, still being me, instead of trying to be "cool"... interesing problem. How to find my voice.

ok, so no relationship celebrations, but the birthday party is still coming. I'll keep you posted

"Scientific Society"... PSHAWWW who am i kidding. At one point we may have liked to think of ourselves that way, convinced that it was some kind of compliment. Most of us are growing out of it, thank the Lord. So my bad. The logo was still cool though, as it caught my eye, which is a feat when dealing with university students who are almost universally afflicted with poster blindness (its more of a coping mechanism than a disease).

I mentioned earlier that two of my friends moved a step in relationships, well, there was hope that a third had done so as well this weekend, which could have made for a large party. But alas, twas not to be. On a better note, i saw a cool logo today. I don't even know what it was advertising, but it was a picture of a heart, a more realistic heart, but still cartoonish; and it had arrows pointing to various parts, like the left aeorta saying "commitment" and somewhere else (i am not biology major, stopped at grade 10 thank you very much) saying "work ethic", and so on. Funny how in a "scientific society" and with a realistic picture of the heart, we still find those things there.

Huize said to Zhuangzi, "I have a big tree of the kind men call shu. Its trunk is too gnarled and bumpy to apply a measuring line to, its branches too bent and twisty to match up to a compass or a square. You could stand it by the road and no carpenter would look at it twice. Your words, too, are big and useless, and so everyone alike spurns them!" Zhuangzi said, "Maybe you've never seen a wildcat or a weasel. It crouches down and hides, watching for something to come along. It leaps and races east and west, not hesitating to go high or low - until it falls into the trap and dies in the net. then again there's the yak, big as a cloud covering the sky. It certainly knows how to be big, but it doesn't know how to catch rats. now you have this big tree and you're distressed because it's useless. Why don't you plant it in Not-Even-Anything village, or the field of Broad-and-Boundless, relax and do nothing by its side, or lie down for free an...

This weekend I am flying out to vancouver to see my Fiancee. Oh, i can't wait. It's always so much fun. We are planning to do a silence retreat together, taking a tour of Regent College (including going to a John Stackhouse lecture), going to the museum of anthropology as well as several art galleries, wall climbing, ahhh sooo goood. I am very excited, if you couldn't tell already. I leave thursday morning, so that will probably be the end of this blog until the tuesday i get back, at which point you will be subjected to copious amounts of writing on the banal details of my trip. Ok, well I'll try not to bore you, but I am not going to pretend i don't see through rose colored shades where Chapter (my Fiancee's nickname in places where you get those kind of things) is concerned.