In a culture of convenience true love, deep passion, a large vision or sense of mission, and much more go against the grain. Not only that, but seeking these things is costly. True love gives beyond convenience, but good luck getting anyone to do that for you. Of course, its easy enough to point the finger, but I do at least as much as anyone. It is discouraging to try to give of yourself in love, because having a larger vision of love means that you see many others not giving to you in love, I get frustrated and want to give back what I am getting, or I get angry. Turning the other cheek is never easy. I see lack of integrity in many people's actions, and it makes it hard. But that isn't the hardest thing, I see all this in myself more than I see it in others, and am faced with how much I lack. Sometimes I wish I could just remain ignorant, satisfied with a lower standard for myself. I realize that all my indictments, of the church, of those around me, are indictments of myself. Not only for being judgemental, but also because the finger inevitably points back; not from those people, but from myself. Why does God have to keep putting people in my life that challenge me? that show me things like what it really means to love? Lol, I thank you all, especially you Chapter, but man can it be frustrating sometimes. grrrrr.
A Pastor's Word: Silence
Silence. I think of the servant watching Rebekah intently, waiting to see if his mission is a success. I think of the darkness of the ninth plague; I wonder if there was silence. I think of the Canaanite woman crying for help and Jesus not saying a word. I think of the disciples in the storm as they find that Jesus is asleep. Were they speechless? I think of Jesus in the Garden, his friends all asleep, his prayers rising as his sweat falls. Or the three hours of darkness while Jesus hung on the cross. Was there silence then? I think of the silences I have experienced. The brief pause, the in-drawn breathe, that stretches into an imaginary eternity, when I asked the woman I love to marry me and she had yet to answer. That moment of silence before our baby cried for the first time. The first rays of sun hitting the side of the mountain, when I realized I couldn't hear the highway anymore. The pause in the wind...
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